Thuli nurses her dismal life back into harmony

NOKUTHULA MNGOMEZU

Behind the doe-eyed beauty lurks an intense ambition to do well in the medical field and to get married to her loving boyfriend. But the journey thus far for NOKUTHULA MNGOMEZULU has been fraught with prejudice, self-doubt, apathetic parents, dysfunctional relationships and a loathing for school and education. Nokuthula has just graduated as a care giver and her immediate consideration is to gather the youth together and hone them to be the best.  She is now more determined to create her footprints in the world and help others succeed where she failed to make an impact. So, in this article, she speaks to Thembi Masser about her fears and insecurities as a teenager, and of her imminent ambitions and, of course, about her fiancé.  

Thuli, as she is so affectionately called by her close friends, is a 28 year-old graduate at the John Wesley Community Centre (JWCC) in Etwatwa, Daveyton.  She studied home-based care, a course that includes care for the invalid, the terminally ill, the infirm; orphans and critical homes that generally need a medical work over. It is not a nursing course, but home-based care givers nurse the sick.

The course is offered by Dream Wise Trainings, and the principal, Trevor Lubisi and his assistants, Charmain Phungwayo and Phindile Mtsali, are the enthusiastic and popular facilitators, Thuli says.

She, Thuli, aims high. As high as the medical field, she points out. And it is for this reason that she was at the JWCC to do the course. “It is my ultimate dream to see myself as a nurse,” she enthuses. She thinks caring for the community which still carries the stigma of poverty and a low socio-economic outlook is the first priority for her. “For instance, I want to teach children about medicines. Many people ignore kids and that disadvantages the kids. We should give them attention.” She intends to change the kids’ mindset towards their sicknesses. They should not be ashamed of their sicknesses, she cautions, and they should be positive when they are sick and not feel different from other kids. Or be insecure, she adds. “Kids must understand that taking medicines is not the end of the world. And they must stop thinking that diseases are a curse.”      

She is also interested in the activities in the maternity ward. “I want to be there too, “she laughs coyly. “That is where life starts and that is where life is saved. I want to be a life saver,” she asserts.  She says she cries terribly at every funeral she attends because the dead should have been saved from their death. “I am proud that I once saved the life of a policeman who was gunned in the gut and whose bowels were spilling all over. His bullet proof did not stop the bullet and so his gut was pierced and his intestines were all over the place. But he is still alive today. I am proud that I was there to save a life.” The self proclaimed dynamic, passionate lady with the benevolent heart also plans to work with old people. “I plan to work in a home or a hospital and later qualify as a nurse.” She says she has acquired enough experience so far to enable her to be the best in the field.

She says it is fun to be at the JWCC and her wish is that many people could do the home-based care course and when they do it, take it seriously. “The people there are fun. Trevor is experienced in these matters and he is so well-versed in what he is doing. What a beauty.”

After her dismal, miserable schooling career, where she passed matric ‘by the grace of the Lord’, Thuli worked as a cashier at Jamaica Wholesalers in Dunnswart, Boksburg. That lasted only four forgettable months. Thereafter she took part in a periodic municipal project cleaning streets in Etwatwa before going to rural Delmas to become a domestic worker. “For five months I gave my all and forgot about my pride; I put food on the table as I looked after my siblings, three younger boys. Just imagine me, a very young, sassy and sexy girl like me was a domestic worker. Just imagine.”  She then moved west to Roodepoort where she volunteered as a paramedic at the BC Medical Emergency Services where she saved the life of a policeman. She has also had a stint at 2^nd Generation EMS as an emergency care worker.

She has a few certificates under her belt this Thuli.  She attended the Impact Fire Tech and the De Vier Ambulance Academy.  And, now, she is a graduate at the JWCC.

“I have done so much research about this field that I feel I know what I am doing. I have the passion and the will to do something here, to help people to stand on their feet.  I want them to win.”

She attended Kgolagano and Rolihlahla Primary Schools and later went on to Dr Harry Gwala and Rivoni High Schools.

NOW, she beckons, LISTEN TO THIS…

I did not like school at all. In fact, I always asked myself what in the world was I doing there. To me it was a total waste of my time and that of those who were entrusted with my education. I always passed because Christ felt sorry for me, not that I knew what was going on. His grace was always there for me to see me through. I used to have a very short memory. I would forget something as easy as the result of two plus two. It is only years after I left school that a miracle happened; I can now understand and remember what I have learned. Now I enjoy school and thanks to Trevor, this is a whole new world. I wish I could turn back the clock and return to elementary school. I ask myself why at school I had so much short memory, never understanding anything of what was happening in the class room. What exactly was happening to me at the time and what is happening to me now is still a mystery to unfold.

At both Dr Gwala and at Rivoni I had a weird mixture of subjects and I am surprised my teachers allowed the situation to sink to that level of incompetency. But I suppose they wanted, so helplessly, to guide me through a maze and crazy world of insanity. For an example, from grade 10 to 11 I had subjects like maths, physical science, biology and consumer studies. Zulu and English were my language subjects. But going into grade 12 the line up was allowed to change, something unheard of here in South Africa.    The new list now boasted consumer studies, life sciences, economics, maths literature and, of course, English and Zulu. I was messed up. My subjects were messed up and my life was an unattended pot of potiekos. In the process, I failed grade 10.

It came as a shock to realize that school was not my thing-I was being pushed the walls. I was anonymous at school, absent while I was there on the premises. No one spoke to me and I spoke to no one. I was not recognised. I wanted to pass so dearly; the passion that I could be something in the future was always there in my heart. I wanted to be recognized. I wanted to be the best in whatever I did. But because I possessed a heavy dose of low-esteem and naiveté which I carried wherever I went, that proved to be the death-knell to all my ambitions. I was deadly shy, very quite.

Now everything has changed and my learning skills, which have now improved, have changed my life style for the better. And my mind is alive and alert.

At school I was pathetic, afraid of my physics teacher, a Mr. Tshabalala.   Every time when I looked at him I wanted to cry. I would cry even before he went into his tirade of beating us, molesting us, sometimes for hours on end. Ironically, Mr. Tsabalala was my favourite teacher. I admit I was not intelligent, but, however, I enjoyed his teaching. I wanted to be his perfect student. But I failed.

I did not have favourite subjects. The subjects were all miserable. All I knew was that I wanted to be a doctor. I did not care what doctor in which discipline. I just want to be a doctor. But to me school was simply the wrong place to help me fulfill my dream. I was mocked and taunted and I hated even my fellow school mates. I was so futile that even mediocre learners used me as their yardstick. They used to taunt me, saying ‘If she passed then I have passed too’.

And during the terrible grade 11 I started dating. The affair, on hind sight, was a mismatch.  The guy was already at tertiary and I was just a dead woman walking, as they say. But, by the grace of the Lord, the affair went on for six solid years. And during that time I managed to hide my insecurities from him. To tell the truth, I don’t know how he lasted that long with me. Maybe he truly loved me. In the end he left for Cape Town and he has never been heard of since. 

Okay, alright. Maybe you need to know this too. I am Francina Mngomezulu and Mr Stimela’s daughter. I was born in Tsakani in Ekurhuleni in 1989, in January. But at age three I had a new dad, a Mr. Alfred Vuma. Both my parents are still alive and I love them to bits. But my upbringing was chaotic and misguided. My mother was beautiful, caring and very emotional. She was always angry and depressed and was abusive to her children. But now there has been a dramatic change. She is all loving and supportive. On the other hand my step father was chillingly quiet. I did not have a relationship with him at all. All he did was to give us pocket money and buy us Christmas clothes and groceries. That is all. But he too has had a dramatic make-over. It is all love and hugs lately.

Last year, in 2016, I gave birth to a lovely boy with the beautiful eyes like mine. His father has given his lobola to my parents and while we are traditionally married, we still have to sign some papers at home affairs. I prefer it that way, there must be a signature somewhere on a paper. My heart pumps so hard when I think of my fiancé; I want him to marry me quickly and immediately.

With her husband-to-be and their son

Her parents

With Trevor Lubisi with Kedibine Koto in the foreground

Her beautiful baby boy