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| Kgomotso Phala |
The loss of her
mother at a young age did not deter KGOMOTSO MARCY PHALA to go on to achieve
greater things in life. Instead, her mother’s death propelled her to work
harder, and smatter, to be better. She is now a life coach, intent on making
the lives of others fruitful and successful. Tsotso, as she is affectionately
known by her friends or Motso, as her mother used to call her, is steadfast that
marriage is not on the horizon for her. However, in her career, she coaches
others about the virtues of a good marriage relationship and how to plan a
prosperous life style. In this interview with Thembi Masser, Motso tells us why
she is still a virgin and why she abandoned her HR studies with only the
winning post in sight.
Motso is adamant that her life will be prosperous and
successful and bright. At her age, 21, she thinks the world is still an
untapped territory for her and before long her career as a life coach will
yield results, for her and the learners she is going to lead. “We engage with
schools here in Etwatwa and Daveyton. The objective is to equip and empower
learners here on how to deal with problems they face in their lives,” she tells
Masser. She says learners have many problems that affect them and these
sometimes affect the way they perform at school. “Kids have social problems
like any body else. They have relationship problems and they have educational
problems. What more with peer pressure? Remember, the kids I work with have
just entered teenage hood,” So, she says, life coaching and giving learners the
tools of life are going to be her priority going forward.
But her life, her very own life, has been fraught with near
misses, mishaps and a lack of direction. She did not have any sort of life
guidance while at school and did not belong to a youth club. The church did not
play any meaningful part as well.
Now, as a life coach, she is aware of how much she missed
out at preparing for life in a diligent and measurable way. There was no career
guidance at school, not even vocational training. “I reckon that if I knew
better about different careers and how it works my world would have been
different from what it is today.” She maintains that if schools taught subjects
about how to deal with life then the situation for, mainly black kids suffering
with inferiority complex, would be different. For instance, she points out, her
teachers did not know about her career intentions and, in her community, there
were no role models when she was growing up. “I still struggle to find a
suitable role model there even today.”
She remembers with a half-hearted smile that all that she
wanted to do while she was at high school was to fiddle with human bodies. “I
wanted to do studies in anatomy later in my life.”
Then the loss of her mother when she was sixteen scuppered
things a little, if not nearly derailed her way of life. She was very close to her mother, she points
out, and still now she sees, in her visions, areas of her life that she saw in
her mother, Segametse Mirriam. These visions draw her closer to her more than
when she was alive. “The pain was
difficult to bear when she died. Her death broke my heart and to lose a
mother’s love at that age is too hard to bear.” But her mother, before she
died, told her to be strong. “She called me aside and softly told me, ‘be
strong my child’, and so I have tried strongly to adhere to her words.” Motso was so badly affected that she
performed badly in her studies. But with the passing of time she went through
her grade 11 and finally passed grade 12 at Mabuya High.
At Mabuya she will
not forget her favourite teacher, Betty Langa, who offered geography and
Setswana. “Those were my favourite subjects along with life sciences.” This is the school where Motso showed her
prowess in the field of dancing-she choreographed groups of learners and was
recognised by the Sibikwa Arts Centre as the best in her discipline.
But her love for the arts started earlier at Katlego
Intermediate School, where she sang her heart out, “better than Riri,” she
observes, smiling wryly. “I sang in the school choir, just as exactly as angels
sing.” Motso was also an avid majorette and also an athlete.
She was a very obedient as a learner, punctual and always
doing her work to the best of her ability. “I was shy and quite but absolutely good
as a learner.” Motso is so shy that not even
just one boy managed to steal a kiss with her at school, she remarks. “I did
not have boyfriends at school. Never,” she asserts. “That is why even today I
have not been tampered with. I am still a virgin,” she reveals, disclosing
secrets of her life that no one knew of before this interview. “I assure you.
It is God’s truth, I am still a virgin.”
And marriage is not on her plans either.
A study in HR at Benoni Technical ended in disarray. It did
not interest her, and she left after doing her N5. She did HR out of ignorance,
she points out. “A bursary was offered and HR studies looked attractive and so
I did it. If I had known better then things would have been vastly different
from what it is today. I hated HR then, and I still do, even today. Believe me.
“Now I am interested in teaching.” She wants to teach life
sciences and natural science.
Motso is an aspirant writer. She is writing a book. It is a
book on faith, she explains. “Faith is an important value. It drives us and
leads us to the good in us.” The book will also deal with discipline and
respect. “The story of Dikeledi and Themba is one of hope and endless
forgiveness, and I hope you will enjoy it.”
At the moment she lives in Daveyton, Benoni, where she was
born. Her father, Johannes Mathafina and
some of her six sisters live with her. “I am holding fingers that my life comes
in the way I am going to tailor it from now on,” she promises.
Same crowd, same
topics
Kgomotso with her
then grade 11 class mates, Kagiso Dube and Christina Maphalala
Nonhlanhla Machaka Grade 12 class mate
Kgomotso and her sistas
and their father
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