LIFE SKILLS. The making of a man begins

By Tebogo Molefe
MADODA MNGUNI is only 18 and on his way to becoming a man. He is a learner at Phandimfundo Secondary School in Etwatwa, Daveyton. At his age he is already a member of Men’s Forum, something which does not happen often, especially in the townships.

Madoda is in grade 11, stays at home with his mother and his seven siblings. Apart from his school work, he helps with household chores and takes his siblings to the clinic when they are sick. His mother works full time so she can’t take kids to the clinic herself so he has to stay out of school sometimes in order to do this.

At school he is a workaholic, he tells WANcareerlife. His subjects are Physical sciences, Life sciences, Mathematics, Life orientation, English and Isizulu. ‘’My school is the best all-over by far.’’ He grins, and equally,‘’ he goes on ‘’there are good students in the school. Our teachers treat you by the way you behave, I had to repeat grade 10 because I did not listen to teachers and did not do my school work. As a young boy we think we know better than our teachers. We think we are man and all grown up; we don’t listen and then start disrespecting teachers because of peer pressure. So I thought I was smart but I was not and was wasting my time but I have learned my lesson.’’

Phandimfundo does not have career guidance classes but teachers are always there to give advice. ‘’I want to apply for a bursary so that after matric I can go to university to study medicine and be a doctor because I think doctors are not patient enough these days, so I want to help people because it is something that I love doing. The University of Johannesburg is his first choice but should things not go his way he will go to Pretoria. ‘’The University of Tshwane will be where I will do my degree, ‘’he goes on. ‘’My mother is very supportive of my career choice and she is always there for me and encouraging me. ‘’I can talk to her about anything,’’ he adds that his father does not stay with them but stays in the same area at my grandmother’s house and he does not see him often enough because ‘’ I have school work to do every day after school.

Madoda was chosen to represent his school at the Men’s Forum in an event held at the Stompi Skosana Hall with Sabelo Ndala, a fellow learner. Men’s Forum is an initiative that teaches men and boys how to love, care, protect and respect woman and themselves at home, schools, the workplace and in the community. His Men’s Forum task at the school is to encourage other boys about a positive life style, to talk about issues they face on a daily basis as young men. He smiles; ‘’I want to let them know that they must not let their past determine their future.’’

He was not involved with the Men’s Forum before the event and is also not involved in any youth projects. However, he was involved in a community center which he did not want to mention, he went to the center after school where he helped to wash dishes and also do some other things but he left because there was a lot of ‘politics’ at the center and also due to school commitments. He is very honored and proud to be chosen to represent the school at the Men’s Forum and he plans to continue to encourage other young men to talk about their problems and believe in themselves, no matter what situations they come across. He hopes that with the help of his assistant Sanele they will achieve their goal.

The school’s principal, Thomas Mlotha, was not aware of Madoda and is not familiar with him. He only became aware of him after the Men’s Forum event, ‘’it is therefore impossible for me to comment about his situation here at the school,’’ he remarks. But he likes what he is doing for the school and thinks it’s a good thing for him to be involved in. ‘’I support the Men’s Forum and I think it’s a good thing. Woman are indeed oppressed by men, some woman, surprisingly believe that men should discipline them, even at home it’s believed that the fathers should be the ones that discipline children when they do wrong. But, I believe men leave it too late, they should know form a young age how to treat woman because woman and children are abused daily, gays and lesbian attacks are also on the rise. I think men should stop meeting to talk about soccer, they should rather talk about these issues because how a young men behaves at the school and in the community starts from home.’’

The principal says he often sees boys queuing to go to the deputy principal’s (Selby Nkosi) office to be disciplined because of their behavior at the school and that is unfortunate. ‘’But luckily my deputy is always there to talk to the learners and their parents to find out what’s the cause of their behavior so that he can understand and help them better.’’